I went to church with my brother and sister in law and dad on Sunday. It was really nice to actually sit in on the service instead of sitting with the teenagers in the kids room, listening to stupid jokes and clips from tv shows and other such immature things. My co-pastor had a lesson on how bad things happen to good people and for certain reasons. And if anything horribly bad goes wrong, God is definitely behind it. Not persay because of sin (which is something I don't believe in), but possibly because of all our negative thoughts and hateful feelings.
She was saying that whenever something goes terribly wrong in your life, you have to have faith. Faith that it will always be okay, and if you believe that, it will come true, and the feeling will prosper, until another bad thought comes to mind. It was really difficult to listen to and not cry because it pertained so much to my life. The problems with my dad always make me think I'm too young to handle it, he's going to be like this forever, I lost my dad, he's brain-dead. All those negative thoughts run through my mind and when I think about those, I just feel helpless.
But what the pastor emphasized on was to focus on the positives in my life. I am so greatful that my dad is alive and I've had the chance to see and grow off of his intelligence and intellect. I was raised by a wonderful father. Also my close friends have helped me be strong through this. Also something I am truely greatful for is seeing my brother continually, and having him come to town more often. I have never been closer to him in my life, and it is the best relationship. I love him so much and I feel like he is a new part of my life. He is helping me, and I don't feel so alone. I can cry in front of him and he holds me and tells me everything is going to be okay. He tells me he loves me. We were never able to do any of those things. I am so greatful for this challenge God has given me and for a chance for me to grow and learn. I am so glad that Meike who led the speech at church that day made me realize what I need to focus on. It has been eye-opening. I hope I can keep these positive thoughts continuous and abundant throughout the rest of this year.
This can only be a good thing :)
14 years ago
