This week's horoscope

"Getting in touch with people will make you happy today. The moon will be in peaceful Libra, and the way you approach people will instantly make them want to get together with you. This will be especially helpful if you're trying to get some work, or if you're trying to make some new friends at your pool, community center, or park."

I like the sound of that :))

I found out why...

I've been so bipolar.

...I feel like I need someone to need me.
It's not like I don't feel needed or loved by friends, but I want someone to need me. For them to want help from me.

And that's weird, because I already have that in plentiful forms in my life. I'm crucial to my dad's daily needs. So why do I feel this way?

I've been putting myself out there for all my friends. I wish I was giving my full potential right now. I've been like this for a whole month (which is the entirety of my summer so far). Just some weird funk, and I'm confused as to why it's happening. I'm completely happy when I'm out with friends and talking to people, but any moment I'm alone (and admittedly some moments with friends) I just feel so down, and unhappy.

I have been trying to stop myself from feeling that way, but it comes and goes in waves, unstoppable. But I'm trying to control my emotions and I'm not giving up. I love all my friends and I know they all love me. Humanity is pretty crazy and I want to experience it at it's full potential and test my limits with others.

Please give me something to look forward to.

Sometimes

I feel really pathetic.

I just wish I knew.

Today, I need to do something with myself. Job applications! I NEED A JOB. Woo here I go.

If It Kills Me

Jason Mraz expressing my feelings...
"Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing

Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

[Chorus]Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous

If I get caught I could be risking it all
Baby there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

[Chorus]

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said I wouldI guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

[Chorus]
If it kills me
I think it might kill me
And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me"

Exactly how I feel. At an unbelievable amount. I'm shaking thinking about it. Ridiculous.

Teehee

I think you're pretty awesome too.

Actually I think you're really awesome.
And you're really cute.
And I might like you.

HAH!

It'll Be Ok (Shelly Response)

I realized something.
We're not only friends because we get along great.
We were put together because of fate.

It is unfathomable - the fact that we are going through the same thing.
It's a bit of stretch to say it's exactly the same thing, but...
We have always been Daddy's Little Girl.
We're scared shitless about the future.
We've seen the strongest, most important man in our life become weak.
And most importantly, we're strong.

We were put together for a reason. Not only for all these great memories we've kept and the great bond we have, but so we can get each other through probably THE TOUGHEST thing we've both ever had to deal with.

And I want to tell you, you have the best family. You have two amazing brothers and a strong, loving mom. You couldn't ask for more. Just thank god that you've had the time with your dad, and that you caught this so early in the game.

I am ALWAYS here for you. 24/7. At college, at home, over the phone, over IM, heck over this blog as you can see (yes lame to tell you this important stuff over a blog, but I could get more out without blubbering and crying telling you this). Whether it's about your dad or it's about some shirt you just bought, I am here to listen and laugh and cry and talk to you.

I love you forever,
Lindsey

After Graduation Parties

I am so blessed.
I have the best friends I could ask for.
I have the best family ever.
Everyone in my life has forever shaped and changed me and I'm so glad.
This summer is going to be the best, and has been so far.

Welcoming Summer

Summer--
Hello there.
It's been a while.
I LOVE YOU!
--Lindsey

:O !!!

High school
NEVER AGAIN!

Ohmygosh. Seriously?! I can't believe it?!
When will it hit me?

I love humanity today. People are just great.
I will try to never forget any of these people. And I'll love them forever!

Wait what?!

..So you say I'm never gonna see some of these people EVER AGAIN?